Everything I’ve ever needed to know, I learned from watching cheesy 80s action flicks. For example, I need to be nice “until it’s time not to be nice.” Or, “funny guys get killed last.” But the sentiment I’ve found most useful in my life as a music consultant/itunes glutton comes from RoboCop’s lascivious TV comedy superstar, Bixby Snyder: “I’d buy that for a dollar.”
When it comes to American Idol, millions of you will watch the contestants belt and quiver their way through a 120-second song on TV – but how many are willing to actually dig for change behind the couch cushions and buy one of their tunes for a dollar … or 99 cents, to be exact? The answer so far: not a single contestant ranks in the Top 100 singles (Darius Rucker, sans Blowfish, is sitting pretty at #91). Let’s break down Motown week track-by-track:
Adam Lambert – Tracks of My Tears
Lambert’s one of the few people to walk into AI understanding that the real competition is not about karaoke, but transforming classic material into modern, radio-worthy music. His live version of the Smokey Robinson classic was stripped to just four instruments, which allowed his falsetto to become the centerpiece of the song. The download version employs the original Motown instrumental track, which swallows almost all the tenderness he squeezed into his performance. VERDICT: Not this version.
Alison Iraheta – Papa Was a Rolling Stone
Aside from the way AI’s “Glam Squad” dresses this 16 year-old like “an Australian’s nightmare,” there’s nothing not to like about Alison. When she gets on stage, you get the sense that she’s enjoying herself, which in turn allows you to enjoy her right back. The Motown backing track illustrates yet another unfortunate truth: Ricky Minor and the Band suck rocks. This recorded version also doesn’t feature the length and breadth of Iraheta’s emotion-drenched show performance. VERDICT: 50/50.
Anoop Desai – Ooh Baby Baby
This week’s ballad was hardly the revelation that his Willie Nelson track was in the last round, but it’s also nothing to sneeze at. The single’s mix loses Anoop’s upper register-vocals for half the song, thereby melding him in with the background singers. VERDICT: Um, yeah – no.
Danny Gokey – Get Ready
Oh, Gokey! What a back story, what a voice! But would you by an album of this? Probably not. Danny spends most of this track wailing from the sweet spot in the back of his throat, but you never get the sense that you actually have to “get ready” for him to come. Chances are you can answer the door in sweatpants and everything’s going to turn out the same. VERDICT: Nope.
Kris Allen – How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)
I find Kris to be a very appealing singer. He has a point of view, he connects with the emotional core of the material, and his laidback guitar stylings would be welcome on Adult Alternative radio (thanks to Jack Johnson). Kris needs to grab the reigns away from Ricky Minor if he wants to go all the way. Congratulations are also in order for not just repeating James Taylor’s granola-crunching version. VERDICT: Nice, but no.
Lil Rounds – (Love Is Like A) Heatwave
“Little” sounds the most at home with the original Motown track behind her, but it’s a copy. Well sung, on tune, but a copy. I love Fantasia, I’ve bought music made by Fantasia, and you, Lil, are no Fantasia. VERDICT: No.
Matt Giraud – Let’s Get It On
Matt did really well on Wednesday night with this overplayed Marvin Gaye classic, but the mono-style mix on the single overtakes all his southern-fried soul. VERDICT: I’d rather have Jack Black’s version.
Megan Joy (Last name redacted) – For Once In My Life
If you’re like me, and you wonder how this girl seems to float from one week to the next, it’s not just about how pretty she looks on camera. If she could sing like she does on this track, she’d be a contender. Where she screeched on the show, she sounds sublime on this cut; flat notes transformed into controlled, funky vibrato. VERDICT: Yes. Maybe I will.
Scott MacIntyre – You Can’t Hurry Love
Yes, you can. VERDICT: Hell no! Time for Scott to go.
Michael Sarver – Aint to … Why am I even finishing this sentence? Beefy McOil-Rig got booted.
So, 9 tracks, 1 purchase. That doesn’t bode well for the future of the recording industry. I’d love to write this column the night of the performance show, but iTunes doesn’t release the tracks until Friday for some reason.
As always, I’d love to hear what you have to say in the comments. Until next time, Hamilton OUT … of catchphrases.
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